Boy Howdy

So it has been a year since I posted anything. Wow. This has been pretty much a year of workworkworkworkwork. I:

*Coached high school basketball

*Graduated with a Masters

*Got published

*Worked an impossible schedule and taught without a classroom

*Co-taught with an impossible person who I intend to never willingly see again in my lifetime

*Had a gazillion meetings

*MOVED all my stuff into a new school and into my own classroom YAY!!

Yesterday was the last day of school, marking the completion of my second year teaching in public education. Two years down, 28 to go. Sweet Jesus teaching is intense. Teachers need summers off just so they can recover.

On another note, I Broke My Saw by Love Tractor is the best song ever. Written by the late great Athenian John Seawright. It would be so cruel to have to live without a deadly tool.

P.S. the lyrics in the liner notes are wrong!

Tell the wood dealer to come to my house

I broke my saw and I can't come out

I lost it all

When I broke that deadly saw
And nobody around here even knows what I'm talking about.

You're going to need a saw

To get something to live without

Yeah I'm going to need a box

After you burn it out

Well I lost it all when I broke that deadly saw

And it don't mean a thing just to have it on my mind.

When you sing in feedback

To your place

Only to find out

A sideshow in a nightclub after any old midnight

Since full of hate I simply can't stand to be any other way

But way-out

Cast out from the in-crowd oh

You get so lonely

You're going to need a saw

To get something to burn

Unless you use your bachelor house

Or your pickle churn

Well I lost it all when I broke that deadly saw

And I don't like the way you tell me to stand back and wait my turn

Well I lost it all when I broke that deadly saw

But it don't mean a thing just to have it on my mind

When you say now I'll be back late to your place

Only to find out
A sideshow in a nightclub after any old midnight

Since full of hate I simply can't stand to be any other way
But way-out

Cast out from the downtown oh
You get so lonely

You get lonely motel six

Oh you must be invisible, man.

It would be so cruel

To have to live without a deadly tool

Or at least that is what I hear.

Mein Gott...

Today I celebrate the completion of teaching for one full school year in public education. Wow.

I am utterly exhausted and think I need to sleep for about a month. What's the big deal? What have I done this year?

-completed coursework for a masters degree
-presented an FBA I did to a state conference
-broke up my first fight (I am now known as "the restrainer" - yay kickboxing)
-put up with a whole bunch of crap
-moved
-had a whole bunch of meetings
-I could go on and on and on

What else???

Oh yeah, my article is "in press" at a top sped journal. Yay, yippee, hooray for me. I just want to be the big Lebowski for awhile. Or at least watch it.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..................

Welcome to grownupsville. It kinda sucks.

So I went to that conference on Friday. I feel I did a good job with my presentation, and I got some positive feedback. However, I realized that I really do not like being around snooty egocentric kissass people. I also do not like being grilled on subjects that have nothing to do with my presentation. I am being recruited to pursue a doctorate, but I am thinking this may not be the path for me. I'm not cut-throat enough, and I actually like what I am doing now.

Something has been bothering me ever since I got home and I do not know what it is. Time to let it go, count my blessings, and get ready to move. Ugh.

Holy Guacamole...

Happy New Year! I just got accepted to present at a conference in March. Yay!! My professor sent it in. He also sent my article in to several journals for publication, so keep your fingers crossed for me. It'd be a hoot to be published. And, no, I have not really thought about how I will have to stand up in front of a lot of people with a bunch of letters after their names and talk for an hour...holy MOG.

In other news, The Weepies are awesome.

Something I have been meaning to post for exactly one year...

(concerning the Christmas Eve gift exchange the night before)
Me: Yeah, we had a great time. Jeff got me the best pot for Christmas.
Mother: Uh...pot?
Me: Yeah, it's great...just what I've been needing. I can use it to make pancakes and stuff with the kids.
Mother: Uhhh...hmmm
Me: Yeah, I was really surprised. I had no idea he would get me something so nice.
Mother: Pot??
Me: Yeah, it's a Calphalon. He got it off my wish list.
Mother: Oh!! A cooking pot!
Me: Um, yeah, whadid ya think?

Flaccid Ratts

I was surfing around on Amazon looking for new music...and...I...somehow found myself listening to oh-my-goooodness rascal flatts. May the indie metal punk gods of rock forgive my transgression.

Chris came in and said, "What?! What happened to my Slayer Metallica girl?" and proceeded to put on War Ensemble. Bless you for fighting "the creeping influence of wuss-rock."

Over-reaction, anyone?

Yeah, so maybe I did over-react. Anyway.

Stay tuned for biting sarcasm etc., etc., etc., every few months or so when I get three seconds to think about anything except the fifteen billion trillion things going on in my life/ family/ career/ school.

Painting? Art? What's that? I've forgotten.

Auf Wiedersehen

Due to my current career-related endeavors, Lady Elaine is on permanent hiatus. I will continue to have bitingly sarcastic, darkly humorous, and intensely witty thoughts, however. Feel free to call or email me if you would like to hear some.

Oh, go draw a pig...

Yes I should be studying. But instead I'm drawing a pig.
Here's what my pig drawing supposedly means about me:

It is toward the top of the paper, so I am positive and optimistic.

It is facing right, so I am innovative and active, but without a strong sense of family. Nor do I remember dates.

It has many details, so I am analytical, cautious, and distrustful.

It has 4 legs, so I am secure, stubborn, and stick to my ideals.

My pig has big ears, so I am a good listener.

The length of the tail supposedly indicates the quality of my love life. Woo hoo!

All pretty accurate, except for the family stuff. (Uh, when's our anniversary, hun?)

"somebody likes balance more than friendship"

...is what our 7 year old wrote about one of her classmates. Pretty deep, I thought, until she told me the specifics and I realized that she meant balance literally. Still, I like the quote.

In further kid-related news, H&M are now superheros. H is Electralight, and M is Time Tot. Here's H's rendition of their costumes:




The dog is "Flash". Her costume is still being designed.

As I'm giving him a haircut...

me: "Are you cursing at me under your breath?"

him: "No. I'm singing a GG Allin song."

me: "Oh. Same thing."


On a different note, taking the high road rocks.

That is all.

As said by Chris at dinner whilst listening to an obscure Nirvana song that came up randomly on the ipod

"So, Kurt Cobain shoots himself in the face and dies. Yet Vanilla Ice is still alive. That's all you need to know about how the universe works."

Homie, Nico, and Bunny

This was my answer when asked what the three most popular street names are. Chris read it off a cereal box. The real answer is Main, Park, and Elm, or something like that.

Willie the Warlock

So I was getting all bogged down trying to find an article on tech integration in the classroom blah blah blah, when Chris comes in and puts on this super kool kitschy faux 70s jam. And whaddya know? I'm all happy again!

Automatic Flatterer

Thx, computer, I needed that!